Hey ya! I'm Jo!

I help people experience authentic
happiness in their relationships

Why You Need To Study Happy Living Habits
If You Want Greater Success!

Happy living was never my ambition. I dreamt of changing the world. Trauma, heartache and self doubt left me disappointed and disillusioned with life.

How could I change the world?  I was living the consequence of all my bad habits...

"Sow the seeds of the dragon, reap the whirlwind" -  Told to me by a friend. Source unknown

...Drama and chaos is a polite description of what it looked like.

My teens and early 20’s blazed a trail of self-destruction. A rebellious adventure ended in a depression that was to linger for 15 years. My pain dominated my thoughts. My dreams half-baked; I felt truly small. 

By 35, while I was no longer a mess, I'd a hangover of negative habits. I clung to them like a moth to a flame. Insane.

I’d tried many things. Positive affirmations felt like a band aid. Nothing changed how I felt inside - this quiet desperation and fatigue wouldn’t leave me. The living dead. 

I hadn’t the inner resources to match the resourcefulness required on the outside. My dreams sat in my back pocket. I was infected with fear and self doubt. I didn't leave home unless I had to. My self hate was most certainly a big cause. One of the best ways to manage stress is to change the way you see yourself.

But that was but a part. There was so much more. Every habit in one's life - a cog in the wheel. 

What happy living habits did for me...

The chief cause of failure and unhappiness is trading what you want most for what you want right now.— Zig Ziglar

 ...Turns out I was normal. The inability to delay gratification was a result of certain chemicals. My brain had wired itself to sabotage my attempts to build. I couldn't handle stress. 

The discovery of the science of happiness and positive psychology transformed me. It gave me stress management tips to reduce the worry, to build my resilience, to free myself of pain...

...and showed me how to make more of the happy chemicals like serotonin and dopamine in my body. 

Wow what a change. I began to see not only was happiness not a hedonistic quest, but it was one of great necessity. Finding inner happiness freed me to engage with life again. Feeling alive for the first time in my adult life allowed me get back to the business of changing the world. It gave me back my mission. It gave me back my life.

I embraced the greatest happiness principle (for me) - that everything is for me.  

And growing my dreams makes me strong. 

Positive psychology and the neuroscience of it, showed me it is a matter of habit. We can rewire our brains. That there is a recipe to happy living. That it had nothing to do with the outside. 

Happiness science research, gives evidence that people who’ve succeed over a life time,  have a degree of inner happiness. There are building blocks as discussed here in this TED essay on happiness. It's not elusive. It's chemistry. Nothing I couldn’t do in the comfort of my own home.

I learned: 

  1. There is nothing wrong with me. There is a biology that keeps you driven for the NOW. There is a chemical circuit that keeps one down and unable to stay in action. You become wired for addiction and bad habits. Each habit increased my stress hormones. A vicious downward cycle into hell.
  2. It gave me something to believe. The various habits were not new to me. But I hadn't done them all before. My mind did not believe that what I did mattered. “What’s the point?’ my Skeptic argued. I did not understand I needed to train. I could teach my brain how to be happy. Happiness is practise. 

Wanna know how to how to be happy?
Start Here

You may dismiss the notion of happy living as a pursuit worthwhile.

Like I did, you may think it a waste of time. Not possible at all. You may view it as a lazy...

...or a hedonistic quest for endless pleasure.

One's definition of happiness may influence how meaningful such a quest becomes.

To love the challenge. To let the pain of your dreams grow your wings.

I practise my recipe for happy living. I still do. I’m far from disciplined, and far from complete…

...none the less, a far cry from the land of hopelessness and inaction I once lived.

As Tony Robbins teaches in the video below, finding my inner happiness freed my creativity. With resourcefulness so much more does become possible. 


So what has inner happiness helped me to accomplished so far?

  • I was the Queen Negative Nancy. Pessimism was my gift. I'm now generally positive about my life and my future. I see the best scenario as a possibility. 
  • I love my life. OMW. How much I use to hate.
  • I'm focused and alive.
  • I'm not nearly as tense in social situations. I feel confident about who I am.
  • I don't live in chaos. I'm more organised and drama free. 
  • Yes, I'm tidier. Whoohooo! Where my mother says I was once a tornado in the house, now I'm a gale. 
  • I'm no longer on the couch. I don't procrastinate like I used to. I'm in action every day. 
  • I exercise more consistently. I use to not exercise at all. I'd love to do better. But I'm great with my progress. 
  • I lost 18 kgs once. I've stayed fairly balanced in my weight for years. 
  • I've worked with over 20,000 people in the last 20 years helping them build a better life. 
  • I've built 3 successful e-courses. (I'm not a builder. It takes something different from me than my coaching practise. I'm blown away by student's results.)
  • I've a global business. Whoohooo. A business that allows me to do things on my own terms. 
  • I now write. This was once but a dream. I'm finally writing my book too.
  • I use to have really crappy relationships. I'm now in a relationship which fulfills and feeds my soul.
  • I spent a month in the mountains studying yoga. I spent three months living in a karate dojo. 
  • I've travelled to some amazing places
  • I'm no longer depressed. I'm no longer sad. I'm pain free.
  • OMG, most nights I now sleep. 
  • I'm not hooked on Pringles and bread. I don't drink or smoke anymore.
  • I believe in myself.  What more.

Read How I Failed By Conventional Standards

New! Comments

Hey ya, share your take away in the comment box below. I'd love to meet ya!

Return to Homepage.           About Jo's Qualifications & Experience.    Read  Jo's Story.               Visit Jo's Testimonials.

What does the name Kalavati mean?               Visit our online academy Kalavati Cafe.

How Can I Help You ?


Any happiness or stress management tips, advice or recommendations on my website, is not to be taken as medical advice. If you're struggling with anxiety, feeling low or an illness, visit a doctor or professional medical practitioner, especially before making changes to your current treatment. I urge you research anything and everything on your own before you make any changes. I'm a life coach and teacher. I'm not a doctor, therapist, nutritionist or personal trainer. I share freely share my experiences, my story, my opinions and research findings. It is my legal obligation to tell you I am not God but simply another human being like you, walking a path of trial and error. Kalavati Cafe, and anyone associated to this website or courses, can not be held responsible or liable for any choices you take. 

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION
How to overcome perfectionism!

Recent Articles

  1. 3 Relationship Mistakes You're Making

    3 Relationship Mistakes You're Making, Keeping You Stuck With Your Relationship Problems. Watch this video.

    Read More

  2. On Dating People Who Are Physically or Emotionally Unavailable

    What you need to know about dating emotionally unavailable men and women. You are not your pain. Patterns can be shifted.

    Read More

  3. Causes of Loneliness - This Is Not Your Shame

    The causes of loneliness are beyond the people in our lives. Loneliness is a universal condition. How you can fill the void without looking to your partner.

    Read More

  4. Sunday Poem - Desire

    Sunday Poem - Sharing bits of me

    Read More

  5. Define Perseverance - The Traits of Happier People (Things I wish were natural)

    Define Perseverance - The Traits of Happier People (Things I wish were natural). It's summer time. The Dojo floor has a roof that makes the space VERY hot.

    Read More

  6. How To Stop Procrastinating! Happiness Habits

    How to stop procrastinating? Ten most (not) wanted procrastination bullies. Free Webinar Class, Happiness habits will build you a life (not a job)!

    Read More

  7. Advice For A Happy Marriage: 7 Things I Wish I'd Known Before I Got Married

    Advice for a happy marriage - 7 things I wish I'd known before I got married. How you can turn your unhappy marriage around.

    Read More

  8. How to overcome perfectionism

    How to overcome perfectionism. Watch the recording of a live MindShift Class. How perfectionism is linked to happy living. Make progress not perfection. She gives four steps to get into action.

    Read More